Nightmare

Four years of nightmares that never seem to cease
Four years of horror and a long forgotten peace
Whether it’s my death being revealed a million ways
Which I have been dreaming about for 1461 days
Or the love of my life, standing motionless in the centre of a lake
Just the mere sight of her makes me begin to shake
The unchanged statement uttered “it is nearly time”
Awoken there after knowing she will never be mine
Will it be another of the nightmares that are constantly haunting?
Perhaps it will be the endless run through a desert of taunting
Seeing all who I have ever known smugly mocking me
A hopeless mission to catch them is blinding all I can see
Every night I close my eyes there ripping me apart
Sometimes it is the faceless demon that tears at my heart
Entering and infecting my very being, my essence, my soul
Engulfing all that makes me myself, it’s taking over control
Some nights ill awaken with tears running down my features
And then it will come flowing back, the memories of creatures
Creatures so shady and malicious there unwelcome in hell
The nightmares feed the hate within that makes me unwell
And the hate causes aching that burrows in so deep
All that I can manage to do is fall to the ground and weep
This pain may stay silent, then it rushes through me like a flood
So I drag this razor across my arm, writing knowledge in blood
I know I can’t forget the pain within so I numb it and hide
The sting caused by the engravings, quiet the hurt deep inside
Hope has flickered out and all that remains are ashes
So what does one do when all they know crashes?
Ill cut into my flesh and let the blood flow like a river
Even if in the process I turn white and begin to shiver
If death is the only way to silence this inner agony
Then ill take it in stride and accept it as my destiny